The Connected Family

The Connected Family

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The Connected Family
The Connected Family
How I'm thinking about rites of passage

How I'm thinking about rites of passage

My scratch pad on what to do, when to do it, and who to include

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Emily Thomas
Mar 27, 2025
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The Connected Family
The Connected Family
How I'm thinking about rites of passage
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June turned nine earlier this year. As I looked back and marveled over the girl she’s become — thoughtful, confident, patient, kind — I also looked ahead to the next big milestone coming down the pike. And it is a big one: double digits. 10.

If you were to ask me about my Roman Empire, that topic that inexplicably preoccupies me more than the average person, one thing would rise to the top: rites of passage, or meaningful milestones along the path to adulthood.

If there’s a podcast episode on this topic, I’m listening to it.
If there’s a passage in a book discussing it, I’m underlining it.
If I have an idle moment, I’m probably thinking about it :)

Does this mean I already have a set plan in place for my family, a perfectly-orchestrated ladder of experiences and lessons from ages 8 to 18? It does not. And that’s okay — I don’t need to have it all figured out right now, and neither do you.

Rites of passage are something that benefit from some advance planning, though, so I thought we could chat about them today. We can talk a bit about why they matter, then I’ll share my tentative ideas, the people I’m looking to for guidance, and some questions you might find helpful to ask yourself as you develop your own milestone plans, if you so choose. I don’t have an exact blueprint to share (yet!), but I’m willing to pull back the curtain on my process in the hopes that it might help you to develop your own.

Shall we?

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