How we handle allowance, part one

The philosophical underpinnings

For several years now, how we handle allowance has been one of my most-requested topics. It pops up in emails, in DMs, in the comments section, in conversation. Are you doing an allowance? What are you doing?! Please tell me when you figure it out!!

Friends, I get it. I researched and thought about this question on a loop, too. And while we’ll probably always be tinkering with how we do things, our family now has a system that’s working for us, and I’m happy to share what I’ve learned in case it might be helpful. We’re going to do it in two parts: today, the philosophical underpinnings, and next week, more of the nitty-gritty details. Let’s dive in!

Wait, why is this such a big deal?

On the surface, an allowance seems simple: you give your kid a few dollars each week, either tied to chores or not, and you move on. Or you don’t, and you just pay for things as they come up.

While I wish it were that simple, the question of an allowance feels fraught to me.