The book that changed the game, this time for the next generation

My review of Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price's 'The Amazing Generation'

Hardly anyone knows that the first spark of an idea for The Connected Family was not this newsletter, but a drivers’ ed-type course I wanted to build for my own kids (and maybe eventually others) — a curriculum teens could work through before being granted a phone or social media access, with the goal of helping them fully understand the risks of smartphones and social media and appreciate the benefits of a low-screen life before entering into these complicated digital spaces.

Then I read The Anxious Generation, and before I finished the first chapter I turned to John and declared that it would someday be required reading for our kids. It still might be. But even before we reach that point, I have a new book to hand them: Jon Haidt and Catherine Price ’s The Amazing Generation. I’m so grateful to have received an advanced copy and can’t wait to tell you about it today!

What is The Amazing Generation?

Inspired by the #1 New York Times bestseller The Anxious Generation, this new book for tweens is a handbook for living a happy and exciting life that isn’t hijacked by a smartphone. Where The Anxious Generation sparked a global conversation about the effects of smartphones and social media among parents, teachers, and leaders, The Amazing Generation speaks directly to kids and early teens, empowering them to choose for themselves a life not dominated by screens.

Packed with surprising facts, a graphic novel, interactive challenges, jumping-off points for conversation, and anecdotes from teens and young adults, this book is bold, optimistic, practical, and a legitimately-engrossing read (even for this grown-up!).

Jon and Catherine set up the stakes early: it’s the “greedy wizards” (the tech giants) against the “rebels” (the young people choosing a path other than tech obsession). And they frame it positively, a movement that anyone should want to be a part of:

“Today, this rebellion is growing. On one side are the greedy wizards, desperate to keep stealing people’s energy so that they can get richer. On the other side are the rebels: young people who have wised up to the wizards’ tricks and who want to keep their energy for themselves. The winner of this struggle will determine what life is like not just for their generation, but for generations to come. Which side will win? The answer depends on you.”

The rebels’ code, which inspires the rest of the book, is two-fold:

Right from the start the authors are tapping into tweens’ and teens’ deepest needs: a sense of meaning (a role in an existential fight!), a sense of identity (you’re now a rebel!), and a sense of belonging (you’re not the only one — come join us!).

While reading, I thought over and over again of this quote from author Michelle Icard: “It’s critically important that we help tweens and teens understand that social media platforms have a single aim, which is to harness their attention in the interest of making money. We have excellent research showing that when teens are alerted to how they’re being manipulated by adults, they become more resistant.”

Jon Haidt, data nerd, must have seen this research, too, because it’s the base of much of the book’s strategy: the authors lay out in detail “secrets that tech leaders don’t want kids to know,” like persuasive design, brain hacking, addictive features, and the disparity between the products CEOs build and the practices they keep with their own families.

What does The Amazing Generation cover?

Honestly, it covers everything I would have wanted in a curriculum and then some — Catherine and Jon have done a fantastic job. Like The Anxious Generation and per the rebels’ code, it has two goals: help kids understand how to use technology as a tool and help them to fill their lives with real-world friendship, freedom, and fun.

A non-exhaustive list of the topics covered:

• What childhood was like before the invention of the smartphone

• What makes smartphones different and more powerful than earlier technology

• The importance of play in childhood

• The false promises of technology

• Brain development in the teen years

• The attention economy and how apps make money

• Algorithms, tracking, and the value of privacy

• The hidden costs of screen time

• Persuasive design and brain hacking techniques — and the negative effects on kids who fall prey to them

• How to use tech as a tool

• Healthy and protective tech habits

• The difference between real and fake friendship, freedom, and fun — and how to have more of the former

My favorite parts of The Amazing Generation:

I have so many! Here are just a few:

I love that parent-child conversation is encouraged throughout the book. Frequent “try this” callouts encourage the reader to engage with their parents. For example:

• Ask your own parents or grandparents what they used to do in the afternoon when they came home from school, or on weekends, or summer vacation. What was the most fun?

• Ask your parents about their first experiences with social media. What was different, compared to today?

• Ask one of your parents or older siblings how many months per year they’d like to spend on their smartphone. (Don’t be surprised if the look at you strangely and say, “None.”) Then ask them to look at the daily screen time statistics on their phone and use the chart on the next page to figure out how many days or months per year this adds up to. How do they react?

I love the message of being careful about how you spend your time and attention. This is the root of an intentional, thoughtful life, and something that’s personally very important for me to teach my kids. I appreciate anything that supports this effort.

I love the message of the importance of thinking independently. For example:

“Videos and posts put ideas and opinions from other people into your head — people who don’t know or care about you personally, and whose main goal is to get more likes, followers, and subscribers (because that’s how they make money). This might not be a big deal if you only looked at a few posts or videos every once in while. Bu if you spend hours every day allowing other people to shove their opinions into your brain, it will leave you with very little time or space to think for yourself, or figure out who you want to be.”

I love that Jon and Catherine address (and offer remedies for) harms that get less airtime — like how social media makes it harder to discover who you really are, and what your unique passions might be.

And finally, I love the authors’ conviction that a low-screen life isn’t only about limiting technology, but about filling your life with good things — deep experiences, true friendship, risk and adventure, and doing things that matter:

Who should read The Amazing Generation? (And when?)

The Amazing Generation touts itself as being a good fit for ages 9-12, and that seems right to me. It includes even basic definitions (“what is social media?”) while also being detailed enough to intrigue a middle schooler who’s well-versed in online life.

It does address (in various ways) hard things about the digital world and growing up, including anxiety, depression, bullying, inappropriate photos, kids judging each other’s appearances, kids feeling scared and anxious and their parents being unaware, and creepy adults contacting kids. I do think they handled these delicate subjects in age-appropriate ways (see an example below), but if some of these topics will be new for your kids exercise discernment.

My daughter is nine. I’m not unhappy that she read this book at this age, but I think an even better window for our family would have been at the beginning of middle school (so, about two years from now). We talk a lot about the messages of this book in our home already (surprise, surprise) and she hasn’t expressed desire for a smartphone or social media yet. I imagine some of it felt obvious and perhaps less relevant for her.

Waiting until your child has that desire for a phone and sees more and more peers with devices could be really powerful, because this book would certainly help her make sense of — and shape her opinions about — the shifting landscape she’s seeing around her. But I also think there’s an argument to be made for staking out your family’s position before the desire starts to take root. If you’re not already having regular conversations about technology, this book could be a great way to do that.

Whatever age you choose, I highly recommend reading this book together. Go through it one section at a time, reading separately and then coming together to discuss in a simple, low-key way. Encourage your child to write in their copy: underlining surprising passages, marking anything that’s confusing, writing thoughts or questions in the margins. (This might be thrilling for a child who’s never annotated before and in fact has been told not to write in books — it was for June!). Their marginalia will give you a jumping off point for conversation, offering a window into what they do and do not know. This one made me smile :)

Overall, June gives this book two thumbs up — and so does her 11-year-old cousin, who picked it up off our coffee table and inhaled it in about an hour while visiting.

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One more reason to read this book together? You, the parent, will find yourself reenergized for the fight. Even I, someone who writes and thinks about technology daily and believes in this message wholeheartedly, found myself surprisingly buoyed. Jon and Catherine have clearly, powerfully, and winningly laid out the case for being a modern rebel at any age, and I couldn’t be more grateful they’ve made this part of their life’s work.

The Amazing Generation releases on December 30 and is available for preorder now wherever books are sold! Let’s get this one on the bestseller list, too, amen?

To kick things off, I would love to give away a copy of The Amazing Generation to one paid subscriber — just leave a comment below and I’ll draw a winner next Wednesday, December 17th! ❤️

Updated to add: Rachael Wynsma, you’re our winner! Emailing you now!

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