The willingness to live a life of long-term, intentional repetition

Lessons from my Dad

Parenting is about the willingness to live a life of long-term, intentional repetition. — Paul David Tripp

If you’ve been with me for a bit, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I think my parents were and are quite good at parenting. (In a card to my Dad this year, I wrote that the main reason I don’t feel like an imposter when writing about parenting so early in my journey is that I know I’m standing on his and my Mom’s shoulders.) I haven’t figured out all of their secrets, but one key seems to be consistency.

When deployed well, consistency can communicate so many things to kids: warmth, security, belonging, identity. It can help them understand who they are and what is expected of them, freeing them up to move about the world with confidence.

Of course, consistency can be expressed in different ways, but one of the most powerful is the words we use and the things we say. This was one of my Dad’s favorite strategies: he had a number of phrases that were on repeat throughout my first 18 years, and if I heard them once, truly, I heard them a thousand times. They bound me to my family of origin and they’re currently giving me words to use with my own kids.

Parenting can feel fatiguing in its monotony, but when we can shift our perspective to see that our willingness to live a life of long-term, intentional repetition (in Paul David Tripp’s words) is a gift to our kids instead of a burden to us, the load lightens.

Here, nine of my Dad’s truisms: