The Low-Screen Road Trip, Part 1: Why?

Because we can, but also other reasons.

Welcome to Road Trip Month, friends! Let’s do this!!

John and I love a good asphalt adventure — we took our first, 20-hour road trip together in college, from Connecticut to Georgia — and once our kids joined the party, we kept right on rolling. Our oldest clocked six significant road trips in her first six months of life, we’ve been known to make multiple 10+ hour treks in a summer, and family lore now includes the time when our five-year-old declared “the car ride and the pool” as what she was most looking forward to about our spring break trip. And all this (mostly) without screens.

This month, we’re going to talk about it all — activities and game recommendations for every age, where to put people in the car, what to bring, how to have a great stop along the way, and much more. But here at the start, I wanted to share the heart behind all the logistics. Because it’s true, a no-screen road trip, especially at the beginning, is not easier or more relaxing than a road trip with screens. 

First, it must be said that I come by this very, very honestly. When I was in second grade (1995), my family drove from Connecticut to Florida to vacation at Disney World. We borrowed a friend’s oversize van, and it had a TV inside. My Dad picked me up from school in the van the day before the trip, and I begged to watch something on the 10-minute drive home. He refused, much to my chagrin.

My Dad clearly understood something then that remains true now, even as it feels harder than ever to embrace: that the screen-free road trip is not only possible, but beneficial — and can even be delightful.¹

Really? No screens? Never? 

No, not never. Though this matters to our family, we try not to be legalistic about it. If we’re traveling on a Friday evening, we’ve been known to play a movie on my phone, positioned so all three kids can see, in honor of our beloved family movie night tradition. If we happen to be riding with cousins who are using screens, that’s okay!² 

And on an airplane, all bets are off. We have no problem with our kids watching something while flying because we do it so infrequently… and also our neighbors don’t have a choice about sitting near us, so we want to be extra courteous and quiet :)

When we’re road tripping, though, we’re screen-free, just like millions upon millions of kids were for decades. And honestly, that’s one of my reasons for doing the same! I’m a bit of a contrarian, and slow to cast off the old ways of doing things, especially when they seem to have worked. If others say it can’t be done, well, that just fires me up to prove them wrong.

But it’s more than that, too.

I wrote poetry in middle school, high school, and college, and I can draw a direct line between the hours I spent in a car, forehead pressed against the window, and my lines on a page. My boredom turned to imagination when given no other vent, and so I began to wonder about the world I saw flashing by: who lived in that house? What were their lives like? What was the story of this town? Where were those people going, and why?

That curiosity about the world around me, that ability to sit with the unknown and draw spools of creativity and empathy from it, has stuck with me to this day, and I’m so grateful.

The vacuum of a road trip, the space left behind when easy distractions aren’t an option, also makes room for reflection and the processing of thoughts, emotions, and events from their lives back home — not just what’s flashing past the window.

But a road trip as a kid is not all beauty and wonder. It’s often unpleasant in the moment, and that, too, I find valuable. I don’t want my kids to be miserable, but I also don’t want to alleviate every opportunity they have to grow in patience, solve problems, compromise with others, and be cordial even when they don’t feel like it. I’m grateful for times that remind my kids that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their desires. I’m grateful to weather the bumps as they learn to accept uncomfortable situations with good humor and to make friends with boredom. It’s not always pretty, but it’s worthwhile.

And finally, I think traveling without a screen gives our kids a sense of their place in the world. Forced to look up and out, they see how small they are, and how wide and varied the world is. They see that other people don’t live like them, that other parts of the country don’t look like theirs, and that everyone is pursuing their own missions and adventures alongside each other.

There’s more, but I’ll stop there. You might, of course, not agree with me about any of this, and that’s perfectly fine. I’d never say that a screen-free road trip is the only way to offer our kids wonder, resilience, and perspective. But I have found it to be a potent one in my life, and in the life of my family.

With that, I wanted to turn from the philosophical to the practical, and offer a few general tips we’ve found helpful while road tripping as a family at all ages.

Pack great snacks

I am not overly concerned with health or redeeming qualities in road trip snacks. Goldfish, gummy bears, graham crackers, peanut butter crackers, muddy buddy chex, popcorn, jerky, blueberries, granola bars, and applesauce pouches have all been popular at one time or another with our crew. We generally bring larger bags and parcel portions out into small bowls. Novelty is always fun, so don’t be afraid to try new things or bring along something you wouldn’t normally buy.

And pack favorite snacks for the parents, too!

Prep your car

I like to take my car to the car wash a few days before the trip and vacuum it out. This makes me happy (ha!) and is a good excuse to make sure any junk is cleaned out so we have a clean slate at the start. In addition, consider adding a reacher grabber if you have little kids (here’s why), wipes for all ages, lap desks for the backseats, and several small trash bags, always.

Dress in dark colors

Niche? Yes. And maybe not important to you. But I know it bums me out if I’m riding in the car for hours on end with a big stain on my shirt, or if my kids look like they’ve rolled around in paint, dirt, and melted chocolate when we arrive at our destination. So, when I remember, I’ll try to dress everyone in darker colors or patterns that are a bit more forgiving to stains, and this helps me feel a bit more put-together in the midst of all the things I can’t control about a road trip.

Stop along the way

Build in time to stop for meals and running around. We always try to find a park, a playground, a nice rest area, or just a patch of grass where we can picnic and stretch our legs. (A post later in this series will go into much more detail about how to stop well!)

Be ready to actively engage

As we’ve discussed, going screen-free (especially with younger kids) means you can’t just disengage and expect to have a distraction-free trip to indulge in your own book, listen to podcasts, or catch up on your magazines (all personal favorite road-trip activities pre-kids!). You might have small pockets of time to dip into these activities, but much of the passenger’s time is spent facilitating in the little years, and having the right expectations about this goes a long way toward feeling empowered instead of frustrated or resentful.

Remember that you set the tone.

Speaking of attitude — in the weeks and days before a trip, we talk enthusiastically about how much we’re looking forward to the road trip itself, how we love road trips, and how it’s going to be a great adventure. We compliment the kids along the way whenever they’re behaving well, try our best to keep positive attitudes ourselves, and remember we’re on the same team.

And we try to make it fun! For example, when we’re all packed and buckled but before we pull out of the driveway, we all put our hands in a pile and shout, “1, 2, 3, GO TEAM THOMAS!” Cheesy? Absolutely yes. But this is what fun currently looks like to our kids, and we’ll roll with it as long as possible.

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The no- or low-screen road trip is an exercise in trade-offs. Like so many things we talk about here, it requires embracing the hard when they’re young — crying, whining, and squabbles; more prep; more engagement; less time for your own pleasure — with the promise of more ease and contentment later. And hopefully, even further down the line, kids-turned-adults who will look back and understand the gift you gave them.

Our older kids are now 8 and 5, and though they’ve yet to thank us directly for going screen-free on road trips, we are already experiencing the fruit of embracing the hard when they were really little. They don’t complain. They don’t ask for a screen. They require little intervention from the front seat and are perfectly capable of filling their time in ways that seem amenable to them. We’re still working on the toddler, but with great examples to look up to, I have no doubt she’ll fall into line soon enough :)

Finally, if your kids use devices while traveling and you’d rather they didn’t, let me be the first to encourage you that YOU CAN DO IT. Change is always possible. Yes, there might be a rough transition period — but you’re the parent, and you get to decide. If you believe strongly enough in the why behind going screen-free, you’ll figure out the how!

And speaking of the how — that’s what next week’s post is all about. I’ll see you then!

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1. We did, indeed, get to watch a few movies on that van TV over the course of the trip, and it was a glorious anomaly of my childhood.

2. It’s also worth noting that, especially with really young kids, it’s much, much harder to road trip screen-free with just one parent! Driving while facilitating activities and snacks is challenging. Be safe, friends!