Things we do differently

Maybe we are a rebel family after all.

In last week’s newsletter, I noted that “rebel” is not a label John and I have ever placed on ourselves or our family. In many ways, we’re about as normie as they come.

But looked at from a different angle, we do have a bit of the punk rock in us, at least when it comes to our family life and how we handle technology. When we look around, we regularly find ourselves going against the grain of the wider culture, even when we’re not making a point to do so.

And we’re rarely trying to make a point! We have no interest in doing things differently just for the heck of it, and in fact think that reflexive contrarianism can be harmful. No — if we break with conformity, it’s in an attempt to live a life based on what matters most to us: a life that feels good and rich and full each day.

In preparing my Thrive talk, I’ve spent some time thinking about “otherness,” and how we need to become comfortable with it if we want to persist in the the low-screen life. This is unfortunate, because for most of us, it feels easier to blend in and be like everyone else: to make the same decision as our friends, to not rock the boat or risk making other people feel uncomfortable or judged. I’m raising my hand, here.

But sometimes we do need to boldly forge a unique identity and way of life instead of conforming, for our kids’ happiness and health and for our own. A little secret I’ve learned: when I can get comfortable doing things differently in small ways, I’m inoculated against the awkwardness and fear of doing things differently in big ways.

In honor of this truth, I’m sharing a short list of some points of differentiation here. Some of these are things that have earned us a double take from other parents — sometimes of admiration, sometimes of confusion, and occasionally of disagreement. Many are things that no one would ever notice. All are considered.

Here we go…