You have talked a lot in different blog posts and substack posts about your love of hosting. If you’re ever looking for content, I would love to know how you do it in an economical way. I know money is important to you.
Also, your piano/library space is exactly what I’m hoping to do when we invest in a new piano next year!!
Yes!!! A Marvelous Money post about maybe how to break up a budget when planning an event and/or putting money aside throughout the year to make up the hosting budget. And maybe any tips for where to buy certain things (food, tablecloths, etc) that might be cheaper than elsewhere.
Love it Emily! We chose a smaller house in a walkable community (bonus we live a few doors down from my twin and my parents) and it has been the best thing for us! Honestly, it was so life-giving especially during Covid.
I was thinking about you in the process of writing this, Val! Am I right that y'all are getting ready to build a new house in addition to renovating your current one? If so, will the new one be in the same community? I've always loved that you've been walkable to so much family!
Hey! Yes I was gonna mention it but my comment was getting long. 😜 we’re building in same neighborhood. I’m biased bc my mom and grandpa developed it but it’s amazing. Our new lot is next to my sisters new lot too. 😍
We have 3 kids (5, 3, 6 months) and live in 2200 square feet as well, but not open concept! We have an eat in kitchen, dining room (currently used as play/puzzle room), living room, and then a den in the main areas. We would love a separate home office/place to put workout equipment etc that isn’t visible to guests. We actually just moved the 3 and 5 year old in to share a room so we can hopefully use the 4th bedroom for this.
The only other thing I wish we had- looking ahead to teen years- is a separate hangout space for when they want to have friends over. I think we could add doors and accomplish this in our den.
Related, I know it is silly but it annoys me when influencers say “you don’t need organizing products, you just need to declutter”… we have an older home w/ small closets and we really rely on dressers/bookshelves to provide the storage more modern homes have!!
Sounds like your 2,200 sq ft are accomplishing a lot of the things we wish ours were, ha! And yes, it's sometimes a both/and thing, right? Like, sometimes I do need to get rid of things, but sometimes a basket or dresser in a certain spot really helps!
Really, really enjoyed this post! I connect with it on many levels, having been in our 1400 sq. ft. starter home for 11 years now. I'm saving this to spark some conversation with my husband later!
1. Location. We live in a small village and our house is walking distance to several parks, the library, the bank, a small grocery store while also being a 60 second drive from getting on a highway. And a six minute drive to my kids school.
2. It’s paid off! We paid off our mortgage in 2022 and whenever we look at another house, its benefits aren’t worth going back into debt and signing up for another mortgage.
3. We’ve made it our own. We’ve spent 11 years making changes and upgrades to our taste and liking. Getting a different house kind of feels like starting that process over.
We've experienced 8 different homes since our eldest child was born 9 years ago, more rentals than not, and across three different countries (none are North America). I LOVE this post.
A few of my thoughts:
- I would rather occupy more space than less, but the furniture requirements are different - we literally purchased entire additional lounge suite for one house, due to the scale of the living areas. What works in one house, (sofa-bed for guests), doesn't necessarily translate to the next. (Also; moving "house/making home" is expensive - financially and energy-wise).
- how much light is in & around a home changes the tone for me immensely. Noise also, though to a lesser extent.
- a view makes SUCH a difference! I'm a nature-girl, so being able to see hills or ocean or green spaces serves my soul. This is also an invitation outdoors, especially for kiddos. This doesn't have to mean million-dollar resort style outlook, but consider the difference between a cement block fence or seeing into someone else's home is very different to a beautiful garden bed, or a sliver of the park up the street.
- how much cleaning/maintenance is required is a consideration for me as a Mama: not entirely size related, some of this is layout, storage, age of home and use of spaces. (# bathrooms, I'm looking at you, 2 is my happy balance, 3 is one too many for my taste).
- I love nooks - to be able to be "close" but not exposed, is a precious gift for my personality.
- I was always a believer that you can host no matter where you live...and intellectually I hold this to be true, but we have experienced one or two "homes" that didn't let us live as ourselves in a healthy way. This significantly limited our hosting in those seasons - why invite people to a space you don't really want to be in and that doesn't serve the purpose of spending time together (sharing something special, beautiful, peaceful, intimate, fun and/or memorable). So thankful to be in a home right now that is a joy to share with others - space, flow and beauty.
Family of six living in 432 sq ft, it was meant to be temporary but we’ve now been here 4.5 yrs and could be here another year. Being close together has its perks but we’re ready for a bit more space. (We’re building a house that’s about 500 sq ft!) Though we have more outside space than anywhere else we’ve lived which is wonderful in dry weather!
I loved reading this!! We have a 1180 sq ft bungalow with a 3.5 year old and 1 year old. We live essentially downtown so location is great but we could move somewhere bigger for a lot less than our house is currently worth (though our interest rate is almost nothing so we can’t ever move! lol). It was the perfect size for 2, even 3 of us, but with 4 I feel like we’re over capacity. I have a high need for solo time and there just isn’t anywhere I can go to retreat from the chaos. As for hosting, we have a huge backyard that’s all brick patio and we love to host and play year round (we live in Orlando). We play in our neighbors yard and have a playground a stones throw away, but I do wish we had some shaded grass esp while the baby is so little. I’m toying with the idea of adding on a screen porch and second bathroom, or enclosing our (awesome) front porch.
I love this! We have plans to turn my husband's office on our main floor into a library for use before and after the work day. I also want to keep technology out of the bedrooms. Living in the midwest, we have a spacious basement that is currently set up as our workout and play space - with lots of items set up for rough play during the really cold winter months. In the future, we really want the space to be the "hang out" spot for our kids and their friends, providing snacks and lots of space to lounge. Our home is more open concept than I'd like, but it is nice to listen to the kids play while we're in the kitchen, and have our toddlers come in looking to help! I sometimes wish it was less open concept, but also I love how cozy it feels all together.
This was so interesting to read. I've been thinking about this a lot lately as we recently moved from a 1200 square foot home to 2300 square feet. I had been longing for more space, and I do enjoy it. My girls (ages 8 and 10) seemed ready to have their own rooms instead of sharing a room. I'm finding that it's so much easier for everyone to retreat to their own space now, though. That can be good at times, but it does make us feel less connected. I'm brainstorming now about ways we can set some norms to spend more time together in our shared spaces!
Thank you for the link - I loved her reflections! Her thoughts on household interdependence (as well as dependence on those in our community) really resonates with me ❤️
This post was fascinating. We live outside of a major city on a tiny lot. Surprisingly houses in this area are large on small lots because the lot is the more expensive piece of the property and builders try to make up for it. Our house is 3,700 sq feet but a lot of sq footage is taken up by stairs since it is a 4 level house. 4 bedrooms (one is an office my husband and I share), 1 family room, 1 shared basement playroom/future teen room, a tiny pantry, tiny laundry room closet etc. It’s funny because 3,700 sq feet sounds very large but somehow with lot consideration it isn’t. We like that our kids & friends can almost always be heard and that we aren’t as far apart as a similar size house on two levels out in the suburbs.
Such an interesting topic and one I had never really considered. We built our home when I was pregnant with our first and it seemed big, but then God had greater plans for us and now with five kids (ages 12, 10, 7 and 2 year old twins), we fit in perfectly.
The size hasn’t really been a factor, it’s more the other topics you mentioned - we live in a coastal climate and can always be outdoors, we live close to friends and family for community, we live in an open plan which allows for us to be together in different rooms and great for hosting, and we have a designated TV room so there are no screen distractions and a designated playroom for our kids to enjoy with limited boundaries.
We would love to add a mud room (for all the things!), a closed door study for a work from home space, and an additional bedroom so our two younger daughters didn’t have to share…
This was thought provoking!! I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life and the choices my husband and I have made. I grew up in cramped spaces, where all I ever wanted was a safe, clean place to hideout in; Now, we each have personal spaces to retreat to, and we often gush about how lucky we are that we can do that. We honestly think prioritizing solo-spaces in our home at the start of our relationship set us up to grow closer because our home helped us be ourselves AND “us”.
I resonate so much with this! Our last house was 900sf and our current is 1800 but here in the UK that's way above average so this whole discussion was very interesting. We have much more downstairs space than upstairs and icky one TV in the living room. It's not open plan. We've had that in holiday rentals and it doesn't work well for us. We have teens now and are adding 2 more bedrooms above the garage. Firstly we think our kids may well live with us well into their adulthood in this economy and secondly we want to provide one home where we can gather our wider family and none of our siblings could do it. We looked at a plan where the new bedrooms could have their own entrance to the street to provide independent living but decided we'd rather try healthy multi generational community ad the kids age.
Finally, I LOVE my dining room but we don't have space for another decent size table elsewhere which would really help as we both home school and eat dinner together most nights so that table works HARD!
Oh, and this community is a GEM. Mostly very old folk but all very sparky and community minded. We can walk to almost everything from doctors to church to a small convenience store.
You have talked a lot in different blog posts and substack posts about your love of hosting. If you’re ever looking for content, I would love to know how you do it in an economical way. I know money is important to you.
Also, your piano/library space is exactly what I’m hoping to do when we invest in a new piano next year!!
Love this suggestion! I'll add it to the queue :)
Yes!!! A Marvelous Money post about maybe how to break up a budget when planning an event and/or putting money aside throughout the year to make up the hosting budget. And maybe any tips for where to buy certain things (food, tablecloths, etc) that might be cheaper than elsewhere.
Love it Emily! We chose a smaller house in a walkable community (bonus we live a few doors down from my twin and my parents) and it has been the best thing for us! Honestly, it was so life-giving especially during Covid.
I was thinking about you in the process of writing this, Val! Am I right that y'all are getting ready to build a new house in addition to renovating your current one? If so, will the new one be in the same community? I've always loved that you've been walkable to so much family!
Hey! Yes I was gonna mention it but my comment was getting long. 😜 we’re building in same neighborhood. I’m biased bc my mom and grandpa developed it but it’s amazing. Our new lot is next to my sisters new lot too. 😍
Amazing!!!
We have 3 kids (5, 3, 6 months) and live in 2200 square feet as well, but not open concept! We have an eat in kitchen, dining room (currently used as play/puzzle room), living room, and then a den in the main areas. We would love a separate home office/place to put workout equipment etc that isn’t visible to guests. We actually just moved the 3 and 5 year old in to share a room so we can hopefully use the 4th bedroom for this.
The only other thing I wish we had- looking ahead to teen years- is a separate hangout space for when they want to have friends over. I think we could add doors and accomplish this in our den.
Related, I know it is silly but it annoys me when influencers say “you don’t need organizing products, you just need to declutter”… we have an older home w/ small closets and we really rely on dressers/bookshelves to provide the storage more modern homes have!!
Sounds like your 2,200 sq ft are accomplishing a lot of the things we wish ours were, ha! And yes, it's sometimes a both/and thing, right? Like, sometimes I do need to get rid of things, but sometimes a basket or dresser in a certain spot really helps!
Really, really enjoyed this post! I connect with it on many levels, having been in our 1400 sq. ft. starter home for 11 years now. I'm saving this to spark some conversation with my husband later!
I'm so glad, Ashley! I'd be curious to know what are the biggest factors that have kept you in your home thus far, if you'd like to share!
I’d love to share!
1. Location. We live in a small village and our house is walking distance to several parks, the library, the bank, a small grocery store while also being a 60 second drive from getting on a highway. And a six minute drive to my kids school.
2. It’s paid off! We paid off our mortgage in 2022 and whenever we look at another house, its benefits aren’t worth going back into debt and signing up for another mortgage.
3. We’ve made it our own. We’ve spent 11 years making changes and upgrades to our taste and liking. Getting a different house kind of feels like starting that process over.
I’ve also gained a lot of contentment! I recently shared a little bit about that here: https://open.substack.com/pub/nextintentions/p/lessons-from-my-shared-58-inch-closet?r=2crmgj&utm_medium=ios
We've experienced 8 different homes since our eldest child was born 9 years ago, more rentals than not, and across three different countries (none are North America). I LOVE this post.
A few of my thoughts:
- I would rather occupy more space than less, but the furniture requirements are different - we literally purchased entire additional lounge suite for one house, due to the scale of the living areas. What works in one house, (sofa-bed for guests), doesn't necessarily translate to the next. (Also; moving "house/making home" is expensive - financially and energy-wise).
- how much light is in & around a home changes the tone for me immensely. Noise also, though to a lesser extent.
- a view makes SUCH a difference! I'm a nature-girl, so being able to see hills or ocean or green spaces serves my soul. This is also an invitation outdoors, especially for kiddos. This doesn't have to mean million-dollar resort style outlook, but consider the difference between a cement block fence or seeing into someone else's home is very different to a beautiful garden bed, or a sliver of the park up the street.
- how much cleaning/maintenance is required is a consideration for me as a Mama: not entirely size related, some of this is layout, storage, age of home and use of spaces. (# bathrooms, I'm looking at you, 2 is my happy balance, 3 is one too many for my taste).
- I love nooks - to be able to be "close" but not exposed, is a precious gift for my personality.
- I was always a believer that you can host no matter where you live...and intellectually I hold this to be true, but we have experienced one or two "homes" that didn't let us live as ourselves in a healthy way. This significantly limited our hosting in those seasons - why invite people to a space you don't really want to be in and that doesn't serve the purpose of spending time together (sharing something special, beautiful, peaceful, intimate, fun and/or memorable). So thankful to be in a home right now that is a joy to share with others - space, flow and beauty.
Family of six living in 432 sq ft, it was meant to be temporary but we’ve now been here 4.5 yrs and could be here another year. Being close together has its perks but we’re ready for a bit more space. (We’re building a house that’s about 500 sq ft!) Though we have more outside space than anywhere else we’ve lived which is wonderful in dry weather!
Amazing, Felicia! Thank you for sharing!
I loved reading this!! We have a 1180 sq ft bungalow with a 3.5 year old and 1 year old. We live essentially downtown so location is great but we could move somewhere bigger for a lot less than our house is currently worth (though our interest rate is almost nothing so we can’t ever move! lol). It was the perfect size for 2, even 3 of us, but with 4 I feel like we’re over capacity. I have a high need for solo time and there just isn’t anywhere I can go to retreat from the chaos. As for hosting, we have a huge backyard that’s all brick patio and we love to host and play year round (we live in Orlando). We play in our neighbors yard and have a playground a stones throw away, but I do wish we had some shaded grass esp while the baby is so little. I’m toying with the idea of adding on a screen porch and second bathroom, or enclosing our (awesome) front porch.
Oh those interest rates - they'll keep you pegged!!
I love this! We have plans to turn my husband's office on our main floor into a library for use before and after the work day. I also want to keep technology out of the bedrooms. Living in the midwest, we have a spacious basement that is currently set up as our workout and play space - with lots of items set up for rough play during the really cold winter months. In the future, we really want the space to be the "hang out" spot for our kids and their friends, providing snacks and lots of space to lounge. Our home is more open concept than I'd like, but it is nice to listen to the kids play while we're in the kitchen, and have our toddlers come in looking to help! I sometimes wish it was less open concept, but also I love how cozy it feels all together.
Love how you're thinking of repurposing rooms at different times of the day, Ashley! Smart!
This was so interesting to read. I've been thinking about this a lot lately as we recently moved from a 1200 square foot home to 2300 square feet. I had been longing for more space, and I do enjoy it. My girls (ages 8 and 10) seemed ready to have their own rooms instead of sharing a room. I'm finding that it's so much easier for everyone to retreat to their own space now, though. That can be good at times, but it does make us feel less connected. I'm brainstorming now about ways we can set some norms to spend more time together in our shared spaces!
This was a great post! Not sure if you read Emily Hancock's Substack, but she recently wrote on the topic of home size as well and I found it very thought-provoking and helpful as my fiance and I were beginning to look for our first home. https://open.substack.com/pub/theworkofwomen/p/humble-homes-full-nests?r=fnja&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Thank you for the link - I loved her reflections! Her thoughts on household interdependence (as well as dependence on those in our community) really resonates with me ❤️
This post was fascinating. We live outside of a major city on a tiny lot. Surprisingly houses in this area are large on small lots because the lot is the more expensive piece of the property and builders try to make up for it. Our house is 3,700 sq feet but a lot of sq footage is taken up by stairs since it is a 4 level house. 4 bedrooms (one is an office my husband and I share), 1 family room, 1 shared basement playroom/future teen room, a tiny pantry, tiny laundry room closet etc. It’s funny because 3,700 sq feet sounds very large but somehow with lot consideration it isn’t. We like that our kids & friends can almost always be heard and that we aren’t as far apart as a similar size house on two levels out in the suburbs.
Such an interesting topic and one I had never really considered. We built our home when I was pregnant with our first and it seemed big, but then God had greater plans for us and now with five kids (ages 12, 10, 7 and 2 year old twins), we fit in perfectly.
The size hasn’t really been a factor, it’s more the other topics you mentioned - we live in a coastal climate and can always be outdoors, we live close to friends and family for community, we live in an open plan which allows for us to be together in different rooms and great for hosting, and we have a designated TV room so there are no screen distractions and a designated playroom for our kids to enjoy with limited boundaries.
We would love to add a mud room (for all the things!), a closed door study for a work from home space, and an additional bedroom so our two younger daughters didn’t have to share…
But our home fits our family perfectly x
This was thought provoking!! I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life and the choices my husband and I have made. I grew up in cramped spaces, where all I ever wanted was a safe, clean place to hideout in; Now, we each have personal spaces to retreat to, and we often gush about how lucky we are that we can do that. We honestly think prioritizing solo-spaces in our home at the start of our relationship set us up to grow closer because our home helped us be ourselves AND “us”.
I resonate so much with this! Our last house was 900sf and our current is 1800 but here in the UK that's way above average so this whole discussion was very interesting. We have much more downstairs space than upstairs and icky one TV in the living room. It's not open plan. We've had that in holiday rentals and it doesn't work well for us. We have teens now and are adding 2 more bedrooms above the garage. Firstly we think our kids may well live with us well into their adulthood in this economy and secondly we want to provide one home where we can gather our wider family and none of our siblings could do it. We looked at a plan where the new bedrooms could have their own entrance to the street to provide independent living but decided we'd rather try healthy multi generational community ad the kids age.
Finally, I LOVE my dining room but we don't have space for another decent size table elsewhere which would really help as we both home school and eat dinner together most nights so that table works HARD!
Oh, and this community is a GEM. Mostly very old folk but all very sparky and community minded. We can walk to almost everything from doctors to church to a small convenience store.