I really want to read this book! Thank you for your overview of it. As a mama and teacher I feel this is such important work! My seven year old (!!) already has teammates and neighborhood friends with phones and it’s becoming harder and harder to help him understand why we take a different approach to phones. I would so love if these “norms” truly became the norm to protect our future generations!
Wow - at 7! I was just chatting with a friend in another state with twin third graders, and she said about half her girls' class has smartphones. I was flabbergasted - thankfully that's not at all what we've seen in our school yet. We can do better!
I haven’t read it yet, but am so eager to start reading - as a pediatric nurse practitioner, I feel inundated with the mental health crisis among my adolescent patients and wholeheartedly believe phone/social media access is a huge culprit.
I would love to read this book. We have five kids, ages 13-21. The first four received phones as freshman in HS. Their school does not permit phones and is a tech free campus. That helps. They aren’t allowed social media until they graduate (under our roof). If they need to see something they can look it up on a computer at home. In hindsight I would have waited until 10th or 11th grade for the phones. I still don’t think social media is necessary until out of high school. Even then- long discussions and setting a good example- by keeping the apps off my phone. We have one daughter left. She has the least self control. So yes, we will wait until 10th before she gets a phone. Thank you for your review of this book.
As an educator, the "no phones in schools" feels hardest. I have been an advocate of this for a long time, but we are so pushed to "embrace technology" and incorporate it to the fullest extent in classrooms because "it is the future." I think there is a happy medium, and I want the phones to be put away. Sometimes technology is simply more noise to dilute the magic that can really happen in a more analog environment. Also, I completely understand a parent's desire to be able to connect with their children during the school day for emergencies. But, when you are texting them about what they want for dinner during a lesson, does that REALLY constitute an emergency? Just a few thoughts. Also, returning to a play-based childhood is going to take legislative effort with respect to school curriculum mandates in the early childhood/primary grades. I never thought I would see the day where centers were not allowed in a Kindergarten classroom. Sigh. Thanks for sharing about this book!
So many thoughts about all this!! I feel like I've heard rumblings of pushback against ed tech in classrooms growing alongside the no-phones rumblings. We shall see!
Thanks for this helpful and thought-provoking review! I agree with others, that likely the hardest thing to implement would be phone-free schools. My kids are only 7, 5, and 1 so hopefully the next 5-10 years will bring a lot of change in our society's perspective on the detrimental affects of technology with kids. I have this book on hold at my library (along with 22 other people waiting for the hard copy and 96 waiting for the audiobook!!). Those numbers alone are encouraging to me that people in my community are wanting to learn more about this and see change!
This is high on the TBR list! I have an almost 10 year old, almost 8 year old and almost 5 year old. There are many kids in both my older kids' classes that have full, unrestricted access to phones and tablets. I really think that hardest thing for me is having these conversations with other parents and gently helping them see why this is detrimental. I also struggle to explain the "why" to our kids in an age-appropriate way. I don't want to make technology seem forbidden and thus more desirable. I also don't want to scare them and create a fear-based approach to tech usage. *sigh* Hopefully more education will help me to approach the subject with more confidence!
All such good thoughts, Sarah. Something I've heard from other parents of older kids is that (sadly), for many, observing their peers with tech actually becomes a deterrent over time. They start to see some of the detrimental effects their parents are describing (inability to focus, drama, being exposed to disturbing things), and start to turn away themselves.
Our kids ARE in middle school (!) and it has been hard. So many kids have phones at such a young age. We currently plan for no smartphones until high school (they have a watch so they can be home alone, or call after practices, etc.) and our school does have a no phone policy. That is a struggle to enforce with kids sneaking to use them in the locker rooms, etc. I hope that they continue forward in their attempts with this. I honestly think what is surprisingly hardest right now and will continue to be is the free, independent play. Video games are such the norm among boys and while we have limits in place, many of their friends do not so it seems like a constant battle! I am looking forward to reading this book! Thanks for your thoughtful review.
As a middle school teacher, I can attest to how harmful social media use is to our students and how ill-equipped they are to use it. We have a no-phone policy at our school and it is wonderful to be able to teach without the distraction of cell phones. I haven’t read the book yet, but am encouraged by all of the discourse about it already amongst people I follow!
Really loving all the talk around this book and am hoping to read it myself and then share it with families around us. It’s easy right now with young kids, but their peers will be the largest challenge.
I’m so excited to read this book and agree with you that is been encouraging to see so much buzz about it nation-wide, as well as in my local circles. I agree with you that No Phones in Schools feels the hardest to me, as it veers a bit into the church vs. state argument. Just because I don’t want my child to be on their phone at school for my own reasons, should that be a county or state mandated initiative?
It seems like a tough sell to the powers that be, but I’m hopeful that there will be years of advocacy ahead (from parents like you!) to change that tide.
More about this to come! From my understanding, the research is pretty strong showing positive effects when phones are taken away in schools (and detrimental effects when present), and so if the role of schools is to provide an excellent education, then anything that harms that seems like fair game to be removed from the environment.
My boys are 4 and 1, so right now it all looks doable in theory. We don’t have an iPad and the 4 year old gets 1 hr a day of tv in the afternoon while baby is napping so I get a rest break. I feel anxious about enforcing some of these guidelines when his friends have other rules, especially social media. I feel so thankful I didn’t have that as a preteen and teenager.
I listened to Dr. Becky's interview with Haidt and it was wonderful! I'm passionately on the camp of his four norms and am grateful that the school Ryan will attend doesn't have iPads or technology allowed. I'm sure some classmates will have them BUT our little community has made this a priority and I'm so grateful. I loved your comparison between this issue and smoking and hopefully that this will have a similar transition! Grateful for those like you who are passionate and want to help spread and create new norms! Go Emily, go!
I loved the mission of this book and the popularity of it. Absolutely love the Free Range and Let Grow movement he mentions throughout. (I already have the book and plan to give my copy to someone now that i finished)
This is on my to-read list also. I feel delaying social media (depending on their peers, they may just make a secret account, and how do you control that?), and no phones in schools (very hard to control, my mom's private Christian school has a no phone policy that is very poorly enforced, unfortunately) are the 2 hardest.
BUT, my kids are young (5, 3, 1) and I am committed to at least enforcing these principles in my own family.
So looking forward to reading this book! Loved hearing him talk about it on the 1000 hours outside podcast- as a mom of 4, 9 and under most of the norms seem do able. The hardest will be no phones in schools I believe- for the same reason you mentioned- it feels largely outside my control.
I’m so anxious to read this book! Thank you for sharing!
Delaying smart phones and social media feel the easiest right now (my kids are 6,4 and 2), so I feel that is very much in my control. As a middle school teacher, middle school is already a hard enough age. I truly couldn’t imagine what life would have been like if I would have also had social media to deal with.
Truly - imagining going through middle school myself with social media (or even just a smart phone!) is enough to make me hold strong! (And thank you for what you do!!)
I really want to read this book! Thank you for your overview of it. As a mama and teacher I feel this is such important work! My seven year old (!!) already has teammates and neighborhood friends with phones and it’s becoming harder and harder to help him understand why we take a different approach to phones. I would so love if these “norms” truly became the norm to protect our future generations!
Wow - at 7! I was just chatting with a friend in another state with twin third graders, and she said about half her girls' class has smartphones. I was flabbergasted - thankfully that's not at all what we've seen in our school yet. We can do better!
I haven’t read it yet, but am so eager to start reading - as a pediatric nurse practitioner, I feel inundated with the mental health crisis among my adolescent patients and wholeheartedly believe phone/social media access is a huge culprit.
Grateful for you and your work, Kelsie! ❤️
I would love to read this book. We have five kids, ages 13-21. The first four received phones as freshman in HS. Their school does not permit phones and is a tech free campus. That helps. They aren’t allowed social media until they graduate (under our roof). If they need to see something they can look it up on a computer at home. In hindsight I would have waited until 10th or 11th grade for the phones. I still don’t think social media is necessary until out of high school. Even then- long discussions and setting a good example- by keeping the apps off my phone. We have one daughter left. She has the least self control. So yes, we will wait until 10th before she gets a phone. Thank you for your review of this book.
Bless you, Rita! That's wonderful that their school is completely phone-free!!
As an educator, the "no phones in schools" feels hardest. I have been an advocate of this for a long time, but we are so pushed to "embrace technology" and incorporate it to the fullest extent in classrooms because "it is the future." I think there is a happy medium, and I want the phones to be put away. Sometimes technology is simply more noise to dilute the magic that can really happen in a more analog environment. Also, I completely understand a parent's desire to be able to connect with their children during the school day for emergencies. But, when you are texting them about what they want for dinner during a lesson, does that REALLY constitute an emergency? Just a few thoughts. Also, returning to a play-based childhood is going to take legislative effort with respect to school curriculum mandates in the early childhood/primary grades. I never thought I would see the day where centers were not allowed in a Kindergarten classroom. Sigh. Thanks for sharing about this book!
So many thoughts about all this!! I feel like I've heard rumblings of pushback against ed tech in classrooms growing alongside the no-phones rumblings. We shall see!
Thanks for this helpful and thought-provoking review! I agree with others, that likely the hardest thing to implement would be phone-free schools. My kids are only 7, 5, and 1 so hopefully the next 5-10 years will bring a lot of change in our society's perspective on the detrimental affects of technology with kids. I have this book on hold at my library (along with 22 other people waiting for the hard copy and 96 waiting for the audiobook!!). Those numbers alone are encouraging to me that people in my community are wanting to learn more about this and see change!
Yes!! Love to hear that!
This is high on the TBR list! I have an almost 10 year old, almost 8 year old and almost 5 year old. There are many kids in both my older kids' classes that have full, unrestricted access to phones and tablets. I really think that hardest thing for me is having these conversations with other parents and gently helping them see why this is detrimental. I also struggle to explain the "why" to our kids in an age-appropriate way. I don't want to make technology seem forbidden and thus more desirable. I also don't want to scare them and create a fear-based approach to tech usage. *sigh* Hopefully more education will help me to approach the subject with more confidence!
All such good thoughts, Sarah. Something I've heard from other parents of older kids is that (sadly), for many, observing their peers with tech actually becomes a deterrent over time. They start to see some of the detrimental effects their parents are describing (inability to focus, drama, being exposed to disturbing things), and start to turn away themselves.
Our kids ARE in middle school (!) and it has been hard. So many kids have phones at such a young age. We currently plan for no smartphones until high school (they have a watch so they can be home alone, or call after practices, etc.) and our school does have a no phone policy. That is a struggle to enforce with kids sneaking to use them in the locker rooms, etc. I hope that they continue forward in their attempts with this. I honestly think what is surprisingly hardest right now and will continue to be is the free, independent play. Video games are such the norm among boys and while we have limits in place, many of their friends do not so it seems like a constant battle! I am looking forward to reading this book! Thanks for your thoughtful review.
Love to hear from my middle school parents, Heidi!! Thank you for fighting the good fight!
As a middle school teacher, I can attest to how harmful social media use is to our students and how ill-equipped they are to use it. We have a no-phone policy at our school and it is wonderful to be able to teach without the distraction of cell phones. I haven’t read the book yet, but am encouraged by all of the discourse about it already amongst people I follow!
You're our winner, Molly! Just messaged you but let me know if you don't see it :)
Love to hear this, Molly!! Thank you for all you do!
Really loving all the talk around this book and am hoping to read it myself and then share it with families around us. It’s easy right now with young kids, but their peers will be the largest challenge.
I’m so excited to read this book and agree with you that is been encouraging to see so much buzz about it nation-wide, as well as in my local circles. I agree with you that No Phones in Schools feels the hardest to me, as it veers a bit into the church vs. state argument. Just because I don’t want my child to be on their phone at school for my own reasons, should that be a county or state mandated initiative?
It seems like a tough sell to the powers that be, but I’m hopeful that there will be years of advocacy ahead (from parents like you!) to change that tide.
More about this to come! From my understanding, the research is pretty strong showing positive effects when phones are taken away in schools (and detrimental effects when present), and so if the role of schools is to provide an excellent education, then anything that harms that seems like fair game to be removed from the environment.
My boys are 4 and 1, so right now it all looks doable in theory. We don’t have an iPad and the 4 year old gets 1 hr a day of tv in the afternoon while baby is napping so I get a rest break. I feel anxious about enforcing some of these guidelines when his friends have other rules, especially social media. I feel so thankful I didn’t have that as a preteen and teenager.
I listened to Dr. Becky's interview with Haidt and it was wonderful! I'm passionately on the camp of his four norms and am grateful that the school Ryan will attend doesn't have iPads or technology allowed. I'm sure some classmates will have them BUT our little community has made this a priority and I'm so grateful. I loved your comparison between this issue and smoking and hopefully that this will have a similar transition! Grateful for those like you who are passionate and want to help spread and create new norms! Go Emily, go!
I loved the mission of this book and the popularity of it. Absolutely love the Free Range and Let Grow movement he mentions throughout. (I already have the book and plan to give my copy to someone now that i finished)
This is on my to-read list also. I feel delaying social media (depending on their peers, they may just make a secret account, and how do you control that?), and no phones in schools (very hard to control, my mom's private Christian school has a no phone policy that is very poorly enforced, unfortunately) are the 2 hardest.
BUT, my kids are young (5, 3, 1) and I am committed to at least enforcing these principles in my own family.
So looking forward to reading this book! Loved hearing him talk about it on the 1000 hours outside podcast- as a mom of 4, 9 and under most of the norms seem do able. The hardest will be no phones in schools I believe- for the same reason you mentioned- it feels largely outside my control.
I’m so anxious to read this book! Thank you for sharing!
Delaying smart phones and social media feel the easiest right now (my kids are 6,4 and 2), so I feel that is very much in my control. As a middle school teacher, middle school is already a hard enough age. I truly couldn’t imagine what life would have been like if I would have also had social media to deal with.
Truly - imagining going through middle school myself with social media (or even just a smart phone!) is enough to make me hold strong! (And thank you for what you do!!)